I realize I haven’t blogged since September last year. I believe that was the time our wi-fi connection was going wonky. Was it the wi-fi modem? Apparently not; it was the PLDT modem that was overheating because we kept it on 24/7. We’re still on the same fritzy modem, but are thinking of switching to other networks.
The last quarter of any year is always the most hectic, too. I also haven’t been lugging around a camera to capture life’s bloggable moments with, since I do have to share the camera with the other members of the family. Once I caught myself telling my mother to stop taking pictures all the time and to choose to enjoy the moment – there is the danger that we record moments out of habit and yet forget to savor them to the fullest, thinking that looking at pictures will do that for us. We end up drowning ourselves in information and have difficulty choosing which ones to highlight. I go through a phase like this periodically.
What I have been doing regularly for the past two years is write in my journal. I used to journal in college; I have 9 black books in my closet from those years. I still haven’t tried re-reading them. Maybe when I’m down low I’ll open them and be able to laugh at my teenage angst. I had dream journals in those days too; my dreams were weird and wonderful and interesting. I used to keep them next to my bed and wrote in them the moment I woke up, because the moment I folded my blanket the details of the dreams would disappear. I didn’t start journalling again until 2007. I had all these fountain pens and inks and needed a way to regularly use them in rotation.
This year’s journal is a 2010 diary that I never got to use as a day planner. I have six different fountain pens inked in different colors (because I’m “maarte” that way, and I know several people who are like me), and I use a different pen every day. I don’t care if it looks strange, and I don’t care if the ink may fade. I get a kick out of feeling the glide of the fountain pen’s nib on the paper (it’s such a tactile pleasure). I write whatever comes into my head, as the journal isn’t intended to win any literature prize. I don’t have to be politically correct in my journal, but I must be honest. I celebrate things of significance only to me. I vent my feelings and afterwards remind myself to be kinder and more generous in my daily actions. I guess it helps me maintain a more even keel.
I’ve decided to blog regularly again. I’m planning to get a new phone with a better camera (more on that later). While the journal is just for me, there are things in life (when a Facebook status or Twitter update isn’t enough) worth sharing with my friends and relatives.